Albert Lakey @Albert_Lake
Cats are famous for their grace, balance, and occasional ninja stylings. But they’re equally famous for boisterous buffoonery — running amok and to hell with the decor. But it works for them, because their whoopsies are just so adorable. When a cat needs a darn good belly rub, few things convince humans to do so than being an adorable screwup.
Waffles the Terrible’s jumping fail
This is Waffles the Terrible, a pretty undignified name for a cat. He’s attempting to jump from the roof of a car onto the roof of the garage, which isn’t really a great distance, as you will no doubt agree. Unfortunately for Waffles, he chose the wrong time of year to make his attempt: the car is covered in snow and ice and offers him a distinctly inferior surface from which to launch himself into the (cat) history books.
At the time of making this video in 2015 Waffles was a mere 7 months old, and his youthful inexperience might go some way to explain why, despite being given plenty of hints by nature, he decided to go ahead with his humiliation-defying leap anyway—but the only thing being defied was success. However, although his leap was short, and he came nowhere near his overly optimistic goal of the garage roof, his ignominious slip and slide onto the garage floor landed him not merely into a humiliating story told by his owners, but also into a viral sensation with over 10 million views. He even has his own Facebook page. And as they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, especially for someone who got their start in reality TV.
Laundry basket fail
While the cat in this video doesn’t seem interested in much more than escaping a child’s bed (who can blame it?), it didn’t account for the presence of an almost machiavellian trap builder interfering with its path of escape.
As the kitty cautiously moves to escape the land of pulled tails, it gingerly steps off the bed and onto what appears to be a solid surface. Despite our protagonist’s apparent care and caution, it failed to anticipate the true nature of the surface it was stepping onto. Since the surface in question is positioned just out of reach of exploratory paws, by the time the cat realizes its mistake, it was already plummeting into the land of fail with the sound of laughter ringing in its ears. The whole thing stinks of a set up … but at least it looks pretty cozy in there.
What we are witnessing here will be familiar to almost everyone. This is a creature determined to get into shape, and do whatever it takes … at least until it becomes familiar with crunches. Anyone who’s ever tried to do crunches for the first time, especially leg raise crunches such as these, will empathize. They’re painful, demoralizing, and clearly intended to discourage repeat gym usage by all the suckers that prepaid for 6-month memberships.
Of course this cat might not be working through a set of crunches at all, but instead just trying to lick its belly at a strange and unfortunate angle. Or perhaps he’s exploring a convenient (but probably short-lived) way to incorporate some extra exercise into his daily routine—an example to us all.
At first, this simply appears to be a cat that has spent too much time around dogs, because it’s taking a drink from a toilet. But while that may indeed be the case, that’s not all that’s going on here.
This cat has obviously been the recipient of some extra-credit toilet training, but it either skipped a few classes, or its teacher wasn’t in possession of the full syllabus. That’s because, after it has (apparently) drunk its fill, it proceeds to try to use the toilet in the correct manner … well, sort of. Standing awkwardly on the seat, stretched across the bowl, the cat hunches its back and proceeds to “do its business.” And for what it’s worth, that’s a pretty impressive achievement for a feline. Unfortunately, the whole effect is rather undermined by how it misses the bowl completely, landing everything either on the seat, or onto the floor.
A cat that can use the toilet is no doubt the dream of many cat owners—just think of the savings in cat litter, not to mention the complete freedom from frequent “scooping.” But since this cat clearly failed to grasp the fundamental point of the whole exercise, all that’s left is a funny video, more mess to clear up, and one more family member trying to use the bathroom in the morning.
Glass of water fail
Jasper is the damp star of this video, and he has a problem: Jasper doesn’t seem to know how to drink properly. Now, Jasper’s clearly alive, so he’s clearly getting hydrated somehow. But watching this video, it’s hard to understand how.
Jasper, encouraged by his owner, repeatedly attempts to drink from a large glass of water. Unfortunately, what should be perfectly instinctual behavior must not have been included in his packing before he left the cat factory. So he’s left with no option but to adopt the rather haphazard technique of getting as much water on himself as possible and hoping some of it gets in his mouth. He knows enough to get his head near the water, but isn’t quite sure on the exact details. So he just shoves his face right down in there until the water gets too far up his nose. Kitty sneezes are cute, but they’re not helping him reach his goals.
He even tries sticking his leg in the water, getting it right to the bottom of the glass, but he doesn’t seem to have a plan beyond that as he just shakes it off, makes a mess of the kitchen floor, and tries again. Hopefully in the years since this video was published in 2013, Jasper has learned a few new tricks, but if not, at least that kitchen floor is getting washed regularly.
Cats and static electricity have a long and troubled history, but once we invented the inflatable party balloon, it got really serious, opening up a whole new world of feline humiliation. Basically, balloons and cats clearly have a love/hate relationship, in that balloons love cats, but the feeling is definitely not mutual.
This young cat looks pretty apprehensive when first confronted by its inflatable soon-to-be-nemesis, and for good reason—it knows nothing good is about to happen. The cat even tries to bat the balloon away when it gets close, but since it neglects to use its claws, the humiliation isn’t long in coming. Somehow, this balloon finds its way to the cat’s belly (the best part of a cat), leaving kitty awkwardly trying to arch its back and step over the offending bubble. However, it’s hard to step over something that’s attached to your underside, and it just ends up between the cat’s legs, doing a good impression of a possessed space hopper.
After a short pause and a period of glaring, which has no effect on the laughter or the balloon, the unfortunate one flops over on its side and appears to be about to prevail … when the video cuts out. How’s that for media bias?
Whipped cream fail
Enthusiasm definitely proves the undoing of this kitty, but who can blame it? Its owner is offering it some whipped cream from a spoon, so obviously kitty wants to be first in line. However, this is less like being first in line at the hotdog stand, and more like front row at the killer whale show at Seaworld.
How the owner was actually planning on giving kitty some cream isn’t clear, but his hand movements cause a tasty blob to disconnect and fall away. So far, so good, you might think, but the handsome furball has unfortunately positioned itself directly in the gravity-controlled path of the creamy missile, which lands right on the face of the one animal in the room not equipped to make the best of it. Cats don’t like face masks, even edible ones, but it doesn’t take this cat long to make the best of the situation, which means gamely trying to lick it off. This cat definitely got the cream, but unlike the idiom, it’s not very happy about it.
If you ever need a lesson in dealing with disappointment, then look no further. This cat is doing its best to stalk a pigeon in a busy city street, and there’s not much cover to disguise the approach. Nevertheless, it slowly creeps and stalks, closer and closer … but the pigeon’s ironically no bird brain, because it continues to move away as fast as the cat approaches. In a last-ditch bid to close the distance to the pigeon, the cat speeds up … and the bird flies away.
But either this is the most zen cat in the world, or its pride demands it pretend it never really wanted to catch that stupid pigeon in the first place, because soon as the bird takes flight, the cat lackadaisically flops down on its side. If only all disappointments could be dismissed as easily.
It’s hard to tell if this cat is depressed, really tired, or just suffering from a sore neck. Either way, it doesn’t want to turn its head to drink from the faucet, despite a slight tilt being enough to successfully drink without getting a wet head. But it doesn’t bother, choosing instead to just put its head under the flow and hope that some H2O gets close enough to its tongue to drink.
Anyone who has had a bad night’s sleep might empathise with this cat. It’s probably feeling rough after a long night of howling on the fence, and now it just needs some darned water, some peace and quiet, and a nap. But its human keeps shoving a camera in its face like it won the lottery, and it doesn’t even have the energy to complain.
Some things in life are sent to try us, and this door mat definitely seems to be trying this cat. All the cat wants to do is play with whatever that thing is it’s playing with, but the mat has other ideas. You don’t see it often, but this is the downside of having awesome knives that slide out of your fingers. One minute it’s all climbing walls, furniture, and human legs, and the next you’re stuck in a mat while that weird thing you like rolls away from you.
Athletes probably have the same problem with cleats every now and then: watching their weird ball escape their reach while their cleats get stuck and send them flying. What’s super-sad is that, of the two, the cat would probably deal with it better.
You’ve probably heard of Snakes on a Plane. Well, here’s your chance to see the much cuter, more suspenseful, and less-degrading-to-Samuel-L-Jackson’s-career remake. Cat on a Plane features a kitty that probably just wanted a warm place to take a nap, and what better place than on the inside of a light aircraft’s wing. The pilot and passenger have no idea the cat has hitched a ride until it appears above their head, clinging on for dear life, and expressing its distress with silent screams.
Fortunately, once the pilot spots the reluctant adventure cat, he quickly returns to the airfield to land and return the spooked feline to its native perspective unharmed … that is, except for the PTSD and a new, revelatory perspective on life, the universe, and everything.
COMMENTS FROM LOVINMYPUP.COM:
Fantastic And very funny cat escapades. Hope you enjoy the as much as we do!
these cats are such characters, that we have to laugh!
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